Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Blah! (I think)

I think things are blah right now. I woke up at 4:20 to watch the lunar eclipse. It was kinda cool. But then I saw raccoons or opossums going through the dumpster by my car and it scared me. I wasn't standing too terribly far from them. I was on my third floor porch, but those little buggers could probably scale the wall, right? Anyway, I was on constant look out for them. I was prepared to make a mad dash inside to avoid getting bit. Then I made my possibly fatal mistake. I ran inside to go to the restroom (it was taking a LONG time to happen!) and I didn't close the door all the way. On my way back inside, after the eclipse, I became wary of the possibility that while I was in the bathroom, something could have sneaked inside and hid under my bed. I really wish I'd had someone to look under my bed for me. My mom just sorta laughed at me and called me ridiculous. But I think that one can never be too cautious if a big needle in the stomach can come into play (that IS how they treat rabies, right?).

In other news, my creative writing professor made an impossible assignment. I have to think of something and then all of the things it could stand for in a hypothetical poem. But she made the mistake of being like, "Food. Dessert. Apple pie...." So that totally got me on a linear track. And I can't get off of it. She said to just make sure I dealt with images, not abstractions. Does that mean I can go "Tree. He stood strong like a mighty oak tree. And he smelled like wood. And his coloring was brown with a little green, though in the fall it changed to red, yellow, and orange and finally in the winter, he was just brown"? I wish!

I think that technology is a double-edged sword. It's good because it allows you to learn and stuff like that. But it also allows freaky people to find out information about you. For example some so-called friend of mine gave out my number to a guy. This random guy starts sending messages to my phone and wants me to meet up with him. He can't even tell me who gave him my phone number. It's too creepy for comfort.

Thursday, August 23, 2007


The senior year of high school is a cruel joke. It's a cruel joke on my roommate and I because when we were juniors of high school we fell in love with freshmen. And four years later, they are seniors. This is the last time we will watch them play their first football game of the season. This is the last time we will see them do anything as children. This year. This is their last year of being children. And it makes me really sad to think that.

I now know how a parent feels to watch their child graduate and move on. Though we have been part of their lives for only 4 years, they've changed so much. They've evolved. Honestly, you must admit that freshmen are really just babies. They don't have personalities or distinguishing features. But they develop. They make bad decisions and you love them all the more for it because they're getting closer. They're on the cusp.

It's August. And my roommate and I have to begin a year-long process of letting go of our high schoolers. Next year they will be freshmen again. Maybe we will love them again. Maybe we and they have changed so much over the last four years that we do not recognize each other in that new light.

And I know that each day we, my roommate and I, drive back to our apartment from home, we will cry. We will cry because it will be that much longer until the next time we see them.

This post has been an unfortunate occurrence because I have now written myself into such a sadness that I don't think I can read my assignments for tomorrow.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Almost A Week

I haven't written in forever! But I've been VERY busy so, please forgive me.

First of all, I moved into my new apartment. I have already mentioned that I was nervous about it because my roommate has already been living there. To my surprise (and relief) things have gone very smoothly. I think. I don't know. Things have been a little weird the past two days. We haven't really spoken. It mostly started when she went out with her friends, most of whom I don't think really like me. Let me add that I know all of these girls. We all grew up together, but I went down a different path than them. I don't know if they don't like me or if they're just treading lightly for some reason.

I also started my classes. I wasn't looking forward to class actually starting, because who is? I LOVE my classes. I know it's going to be a lot of reading, too much reading sometimes. But I think it's going to be good for me as a writer. My creative writing professor said that reading, understanding, and discussing poetry actually helps one become a better writer. I'm all for that. But I have a bit of a problem really liking poetry that doesn't rhyme. I know! Bad! It's true though. I like the flow when the words rhyme. I think that a lot of poetry without rhyme is like writing a paragraph and then hitting the "enter" key at random intervals. I need to get over it.

I'm a bit hacked off at my apartment people. Apparently I only get so much internet space per day. They are part of some network and the complex get so many things that you use when you download a page and each resident only gets 500 of those things each day. Maybe they're bits or bytes. I'm not sure. But I only get 500, which is freaking me out because I don't want to be cut off from the Internet world. I like reading blogs and the news. I like writing on my blog. It's fun.

I'll bet that at this point you're thinking I need a hobby. Maybe this is my hobby.

I was at a meeting today and someone made an interesting comment. Here's the background: my mom constantly complains about my anti-social tendencies. The comment this girl made is that English majors tend to be anti-social. This made me feel really good! The problem isn't me...it's part of my chosen path. All artists must suffer. I am an artist now. I feel so validated.

So my friend that I wrote about last week kinda gets the shaft. I know that she has read my blog, I don't think she regularly checks it though. She gets the shaft in that when we message privately, she ends up hearing a lot of what I put in my blog. Like my recap of the other day. She had already heard most of my comments about the cookbook. Oh well...

I have more I want to say, but I don't want to write too much. Until later!

Friday, August 17, 2007


Well, that's a picture of me. It's not the best in the world. It's from last spring. I was in my dorm and I was bored, so I decided to take pictures on my photobooth program. I would put up that picture on my profile, but I had some difficulties doing it. And I think I want to use a more recent picture of me. But I don't have any, so you'll have to wait until I take some. I should be a couple of days or weeks or months.

I really wish I took more pictures. But I don't know what to photograph. And I don't want to be the awkward person that always demands their friends pose for a picture. Then again, my friends are at the age where they want to look perfect or at least decent for their pictures. That's not unreasonable, but it certainly takes away the aspect of candid photography. I tried to put together a photo album. There are large gaps. I mostly have pictures from dances or plays or holidays or costumes. But other than that, nothing. My mom says it's because I didn't want her to take my picture. And that is true. There are so many moments in my life that I have ruined by being embarrassed and now I don't have any memories of them, except me being a pain in the ass. But that is another post or two in itself.

This will sound like a strange request, but if you're reading my blog, please make some sort of a comment. It doesn't have to be everytime, by any means. But I would like to know if anyone is reading this thing. And most writers do want some words of encouragement. Or at least this writer does.

Well, tomorrow at 8, I can officially check in to my first apartment and move in. I'm kinda excited. I'm a little nervous because my roommate has been living there all summer, so she's had a while to make the apartment hers. We each have our own rooms and bathrooms, but we share the kitchen and living room. I'm sure there will be some minor squabbles, but hopefully we'll have more good days than bad.

I have a million and one things that I want to say, but they all seem wildly inappropriate for a blog. Not like they're dirty thoughts, but they just won't make too much sense to anyone else. I guess I could give it a try, but I want to know who all is reading my blog before I spill deep, dark secrets.

School starts Monday. I cannot get over that. Last year I moved into my dorm like a week before school started. I guess it was closer to 2 weeks. (I remember the first night I spent in my dorm. It was a good night, involving a person I need to get over and forget. Too bad it's not that easy, isn't it?) Anyway, I had a lot of time to get settled into my room and get used to the place before school started. I didn't have to spend my sleepless night as the one right before the first day of school. I'll admit it, I could spend Saturday night up there. But I don't want to. I want to come home, spend the night in my bed, make sure I have everything, and go to church on Sunday, then drive back.

The drive back is going to be miserable. The drive back is always miserable. Last year it was when I did a lot of my crying. Inevitably, the weekend wouldn't work out like I wanted, and it would make me sad. Turn over a new leaf, right? Begin this year with a different, better outlook, right? OK. Fine. You get into my head and make it better. I can't do it.

This post is going nowhere. I think right now I'm providing background information so that you can see my transformation from perfect (or nearly so) to normal.

Anyway, bottom line, if you read this blog, I would appreciate it if you would leave a comment. Thanks.

Thursday, August 16, 2007


Yesterday was my last day of babysitting. I felt kinda bad for being short-tempered with the kids on and off all summer (although I didn't have any choice) so I bought them lunch and some drinks. Not one single thank you. None. Even at 5, I would remember to thank my mom for buying me things, let alone someone else. Oh well. That's over and done.

Today I had a blast! I hung out with my friend and we went all over the place. It was nice to find someone who shared a love for post-it notes. I cannot tell you how much I actually spent on post-it notes, but it was quite a lot. I mean, I need the magnetic kind to stick on the fridge for shopping lists. And I need the lined ones for to-do lists. And I also need the little notebook that was post-it for class, or something like that. And then there was the calendar. The weekly calendar that was broken up into 4 time slots during the day and also came with lots of little post-its.

I think everyone starts off the year with the best intentions of being organized. Unfortunately, with college, I have 2 opportunities each year to start off with the best of intentions at being organized. I want be. But then again, I don't want to be organized. I want to be the girl that walks in late. The girl that people are a little astounded when she shows up on time. I want to be the girl that has her to-do list a little smudged with something random, but interesting. I think it's because my life has been too organized and too put together.

Then I bought the 1953 edition of the Better Homes and Gardens Cookbook. There is a note saying that this is an exact copy and the measurements and food guidelines are different now. There were also lots of little helpful hints. Like how to cook for 150 and other useful information like that. Let's just say that my friend and I had a BLAST going through the cookbook. I wonder if the recipes have stayed the same over the years. But the funny thing is that I am SO EXCITED about the cookbook. It's the highlight purchase of my day.

The cookbook reminded me of a blog post I read. In it, the lady was talking about how she wanted some gardening clogs and to be able to justify buying them, she took up gardening. I think I am taking up cooking just to get that cookbook. More than likely it will just sit in the kitchen or my room and not really get used. And inevitably, someday when I get married, I'll get 100 copies of the new version of the cookbook. But I like this cookbook. It provides a good source of jokes.

I think Gilmore Girls has ruined me for cooking and being the perfect housewife. I think about it all and it seems fine, fun even. But then I get to looking at it and I can't help but laugh. And that's not so good because these women were really dedicated to their families. I wonder which generation has the skewed priorities.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007


You don't know me. I'm new here. I'm new at this whole blog thing. But it will be good for me. You see, I want to major in creative writing. Yet I have never written anything. Ever. OK. I take it back. I wrote a few dark poems in the inevitable Middle School Dark Ages. But other than that, nothing really.

So, imagine my surprise when my advisor told me that he submitted my information to the OSU Literary Journal (-ish thing). I have to write something and publish it. Granted the only copies will be the one the participants get (maybe) and the lone copy in the library that no one will ever look at.

Anyway, I thought that my blog could be sort of creative journaling. Because I have always said that there are some events in my life that would be an interesting movie or book. But it's the everyday mundane things that need sprucing up a bit, which I am pretty good at doing (at least in my mind).

There are some things you need to know about me for this post to make sense. I am a nanny for three children. At least I was this summer (today is my last day). I haven't had the best of luck because these children don't have much discipline. And they don't really know how to sit still and behave.

Thoughts I Had at Work:

Why did I agree to this job?

How can these kids [they are two 5 year olds and one 8 year old (who causes most of the problems)] be so helpless?! It's truly a wonder I don't have to go into the bathroom with them! I'm pretty sure I was quite self-sufficient at their age. By the time I was 8 I was staying at home by myself. [More sidenotes: they are actually almost 6 and almost 9, but they all act like they're 2. Possibly because they've been raised strictly by nannies (Yes, I'm Number 6)]

This so-called "kid-friendly" house has an awful microwave! It is so not condusive to popcorn, which is a staple!

Is it sad that I judge the quality of the Batman movies on the basis of whether or not George Clooney and Chris O'Donnell are in them? We're watching Batman Returns (Michael Keaton). I think the one I'm looking for is Batman and Robin. [I just did some research. He was in ONE Batman movie. Batman and Robin]

Today is the first time that I've actually taken up my boss on the whole help yourself to the food offer. The pantry is a mess. Because it is a mess, there are like 2 open boxes of the same granola bars, 2 open boxes of crackers, and so on. And since they have three kids, there are always multiple boxes purchased. So I figure that it doesn't really matter if I cause the opening of two boxes of Fruit by the Foot.

I find the easiest way to make the kids behave while I let them do something cool is to make ridiculous threats, like "I'll string you up by your thumbs if you make a mess in the back of my car" or "I'll string you up by your thumbs if you make a mess of your popcorn." Yeah, I know they aren't supposed to eat in the living room, but honestly! They want to watch a movie, that's the only working DVD player and they won't fight when the watch the movie and they're hungry.

Kids. They baffle me by the stupid things they do and think are amusing.

Does this job make me not want children? Not really. I do want children. Whoever I marry is just going to have to put up with it. I am an only child. I want, need, a big family.

I remember why I took this job. I get paid really well. My nights and weekends are open. It's a fairly easy job, I mainly referee fights. And I can ignore the kids while I read or write something.

I hope I didn't bore you with the minute details of my life. Yesterday was a long day and I had nothing else to do with those kids. And then I'll be so busy being Miss Involved in College that I will hardly be able to write one sentence on my blog. But it will be an interesting sentence. I promise. So, please, tune in.